May is always a tricky month for me, it’s the month of my son’s birthday, an event to celebrate, it’s also the month which marks my late fathers anniversary, you may have read my previous blog, picking up the pieces from a parents suicide, it’s been a long road to recovery, but in the grand scheme of it I guess I‘m lucky to have recovered as well as I have in the space of 5 years.
I was sitting down last night and I realised that this year I had the date of his anniversary wrong, I had the 12th in my head, actually it’s the 11th, a small oversight on my part? No, I don’t think it is, this my friends is progress and I’ve made a lot of progress in the month of May.
It all started on a blustery night… Ok I made that bit up, but it did start in the evening, every night at bedtime, we put a meditation on and that’s how I fall asleep, I have been fortunate enough to work out the point that I fall asleep, when you’re awake, but can’t actually function unless absolutely required, or the cat decides to use your head as a scratching post… My cat isn’t allowed in my bedroom any more… It is at this point that I tend to receive the clearest messages from guides, angels and my higher self, I am not always able to remember these conversations in great detail the next day, but when I do, I can be sure to take from the experience in a positive way.
It was on one such night, that my late dad popped by, he often makes his presence known, his death was the start of my spiritual journey, he opened up doors that I could never have comprehended before he passed over. This visit was different to any I have ever experienced, this was a goodbye and a passing of spiritual guides. He told me that he was ready to move on to his next life now, I felt incredibly sad at this revelation, but before it could take a hold, another figure came into focus, as this figure became clearer, I realised it was my uncle, dad told me that my uncle would now be guiding me, I was feeling emotional as I knew that this was the end of our chapter and then I had an overwhelming sense of love and pride which vanished as my dad moved on to his next destination.
Dad made many references to a bridge, my partner feels it’s something to do with his death, or the underlying cause, I’ve felt that it’s a metaphorical bridge and since this experience, I think it was my dad’s way of telling me that he was nearing the end of his stay in the spirit realm, I have a strong sense that our paths will meet again in my current lifetime, in fact 20 minutes after his final call, a friend of mine became an aunty to a little girl… Coincidence?
The spirit energy has been very different around me since that night. Shortly after my uncle passed over, he popped in to see me and I felt his presence immediately, he has a very strong energy, which leaves me feeling cold and shivery and I haven’t heard a peep from dad, I don’t expect to, surprisingly I’m OK with that. In the space of 5 short years I have healed to the point of being able to let go, to leave the victim persona behind and to actually deal and recover from the trauma that his death caused.