In this blog I would like to dig a little deeper into fixing Brian after someone else broke him, poor Brian.
There are 2 types of people in this world, there are those that want to be happy, listen to good advice and want to get the best from life and there are those who claim they want to be happy, yet never listen to any advice and will always find things to complain about.
We have all experienced the vampires of the world, the people who take, take, take till there is nothing left to give, the ones who make you feel drained merely at the mention of their name, they have this innate ability to lower your mood regardless of how you felt prior to bumping into them. This could be because they are a miserable so and so, it could be one of those characters who has to be in control of everything, including you, the classic narcissist.
The most simple and effective tool at your disposal is the ability to say NO, this doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you smart, it allows you to set clear boundaries and keep yourself protected from negative, draining and damaging energy.
When every ounce of you is screaming no, but you go against your better judgement and do it anyway, just to appease someone else.
You really need to take a step back and ask yourself why you are allowing this behaviour, both from yourself and them. There are always patterns when your encounter this type of person, the trick is to break those patterns, which means stepping outside of your comfort zone and having complete faith in yourself. Challenges like this only strengthen you in the long run , even though at the time you feel like a train wreck and can’t possibly comprehend what possible good can come from it.
The mind is only capable of processing one thought at a time, which makes it slightly easier to manipulate dear old Brian. I say slightly easier, because it takes time, practice and 150% commitment to overcome any type of negative thought pattern, especially when it’s been left to it’s own devices for a long period of time, or when you are at a point to undo damage inflicted by others.
The implementation of mantra’s coupled with becoming an observer really does hold a power like none other. In Sanskrit “Man” means mind and “Tra” means freeing, so a mantra is designed to free the mind and over time and with consistency this is exactly what a mantra can achieve. The great news is they are really simple to use, check out the examples below and feel free to add your own in the comments.
I am strong and loveable
I am worthy of being respected
I like myself
I love myself
I am in charge of my thoughts and you have no place here. (For when your brain is on self destruct mode)
As you can see mantra’s don’t need to be long and complicated, the idea is to replace the negative thought with a positive one, over time this changes the way you think about things. After a lot of practice, I found that my negative voices were amplified, this makes it really easy to stop them. You have that whoa where did that come from moment, then you look at the build up to the voice coming through, breath and say a mantra and repeat the process as needed.
Inner dialogue is something we all need to be mindful of, when you’re constantly putting yourself down, criticising, judging or being plain mean, something needs to change. Take a look at how you talk to yourself, do you remind yourself how amazing you are? of all the things that you have achieved, do you thank yourself when you do something nice? do you tell yourself that you love yourself? that you’re a great parent, partner? Talk to yourself like you would with others, be kind and patient and if you have done something great, give yourself a pat on the back, as you may be the only person who congratulates you. Words of encouragement should also be a part of your plan, even if it feels like the odds are stacking up against you, or you feel as if you’re reaching your limit, whether that’s mentally or physically, give yourself the encouragement that you would to others and be kind always.