Personal development, Spirituality

An introduction to mindfulness and meditation

In my line of work I speak to so many people from all walks of life, some are new to their spiritual journey, others are at a similar point to me and others are far more advanced and I seek their guidance, which I eventually pass to others. One thing, no matter how far into your journey you are, remains the same and that’s meditation… Of course this changes as you change, you can enter deeper states of trance, you can quieten your mind more easily, you can venture further, explore different planes and visit past lives to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, the possibilities are endless.

Meditation doesn’t have to be a long and drawn out process, it’s something that needs to be built up gradually over time, 5 minutes of  focused concentration, is far more beneficial and enlightening than half an hour of meditation where your mind wanders and picks at all the things that may go wrong over the following week, month or year. Trying to jump straight into a lengthy meditation will only drive you bonkers, so start off small and take pleasure in finding your own sacred mental space.

Meditation and setting intentions holds a deep personal power and gives each and every one of us the opportunity to connect with not only our higher self, but our guides too. It is when we can relax into a meditative state, whether that’s sitting or laying down inside, or walking through a place that brings inner calm. For me this is the forest or near any body of water that has little footfall, the quieter the better for this task. It is in this time that we can truly relax and see the beauty of our world and the lives that we are forging for ourselves.

If you receive our newsletter, you will be aware that I have been playing about with YouTube and have created a new channel for recordings. After much head scratching, cursing, testing and countless google searches, I have created and uploaded a short morning shower meditation, which would be perfect for beginners as you don’t need to make time to fit this one into your busy life, simply hit play and hop into the shower and you’re good to go.

The aim of this guided meditation is to help kick start your day with great energy and focus, to cleanse yourself of any residual energy from the previous day and to get a head start on being grounded and centred for whatever may come your way.

Please note that any type of hypnosis / meditation is intended for entertainment purposes and is not a replacement for traditional medical care. Regular meditation can bring about positive change and allows you to get in touch with your higher self.

This particular meditation has 5 minutes of speaking followed by relaxing music, which will give you the time and space to carry about your normal shower routine, although I recommend listening to this recording in the morning, I appreciate that all of our lives are very different and this can be used at other points in the day as you see fit.

 

If you have an idea for a guided meditation, feel free to get in touch, as some of my best ideas come from talking to people just like you.

Brightest Blessings,

Nicky

Personal development

My mind and I part 2

In this blog I would like to dig a little deeper into fixing Brian after someone else broke him, poor Brian.

There are 2 types of people in this world, there are those that want to be happy, listen to good advice and want to get the best from life and there are those who claim they want to be happy, yet never listen to any advice and will always find things to complain about.

We have all experienced the vampires of the world, the people who take, take, take till there is nothing left to give, the ones who make you feel drained merely at the mention of their name, they have this innate ability to lower your mood regardless of how you felt prior to bumping into them. This could be because they are a miserable so and so, it could be one of those characters who has to be in control of everything, including you, the classic narcissist.

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The most simple and effective tool at your disposal is the ability to say NO, this doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you smart, it allows you to set clear boundaries and keep yourself protected from negative, draining and damaging energy.

When every ounce of you is screaming no, but you go against your better judgement and do it anyway, just to appease someone else.

You really need to take a step back and ask yourself why you are allowing this behaviour, both from yourself and them. There are always patterns when your encounter this type of person, the trick is to break those patterns, which means stepping outside of your comfort zone and having complete faith in yourself. Challenges like this only strengthen you in the long run , even though at the time you feel like a train wreck and can’t possibly comprehend what possible good can come from it.

The mind is only capable of processing one thought at a time, which makes it slightly easier to manipulate dear old Brian. I say slightly easier, because it takes time, practice and 150% commitment to overcome any type of negative thought pattern, especially when it’s been left to it’s own devices for a long period of time, or when you are at a point to undo damage inflicted by others.

The implementation of mantra’s coupled with becoming an observer really does hold a power like none other. In Sanskrit “Man” means mind and “Tra” means freeing, so a mantra is designed to free the mind and over time and with consistency this is exactly what a mantra can achieve. The great news is they are really simple to use, check out the examples below and feel free to add your own in the comments.

  • I am strong and loveable

  • I am worthy of being respected

  • I like myself

  • I love myself

  • I am in charge of my thoughts and you have no place here. (For when your brain is on self destruct mode)

As you can see mantra’s don’t need to be long and complicated, the idea is to replace the negative thought with a positive one, over time this changes the way you think about things. After a lot of practice, I found that my negative voices were amplified, this makes it really easy to stop them. You have that whoa where did that come from moment, then you look at the build up to the voice coming through, breath and say a mantra and repeat the process as needed.

Inner dialogue is something we all need to be mindful of, when you’re constantly putting yourself down, criticising, judging or being plain mean, something needs to change. Take a look at how you talk to yourself, do you remind yourself how amazing you are? of all the things that you have achieved, do you thank yourself when you do something nice? do you tell yourself that you love yourself? that you’re a great parent, partner? Talk to yourself like you would with others, be kind and patient and if you have done something great, give yourself a pat on the back, as you may be the only person who congratulates you. Words of encouragement should also be a part of your plan, even if it feels like the odds are stacking up against you, or you feel as if you’re reaching your limit, whether that’s mentally or physically, give yourself the encouragement that you would to others and be kind always.

Personal development

My Mind And I

Brian and I have been lifelong friends, our relationship has had many ups and downs over the years, but one thing has remained consistent, my willingness to control and manipulate Brian for my own personal gain.

Whilst this sounds like typical narcissistic behaviour, Brian is actually my brain. So take a deep breath in… Yes, actually do this, and relax.

Brian is someone I have come to love and respect over the years, our relationship has been far from easy, but we have an understanding and so do those around me. As an empathic person, I can sometimes get overwhelmed in social settings, a simple solution was to give my mind a name and so Brian was born. When that social anxiety flairs up, the last thing you want is to explain yourself, so by telling my partner who is almost always with me in such settings, that Brian is playing up and I need to get home, ensures that I have an immediate get out clause, without the fear of ridicule. In fact we are so connected within our relationship, that all I have to do is mouth Brian and the rest is done for me, I’ll be whizzed away and given the time and sanctuary I need to repair and the best thing is, no one suspects a thing.

Brian and I have done all sorts of mindfulness exercises together and do so on a daily basis, the first thing on our list it to be grateful, we don’t always write a list, but we always work together to find the best from our day, on bad days it could be something as simple as,

“I am grateful for waking up”

“I am grateful for having the energy to get washed and dressed”

“I am grateful for being able to walk my children to school”

“I am grateful for being able to observe”

By taking the time to be genuinely appreciative of the small things, it gives us a sense of empowerment, it allows us to send positive vibrations out into the universe and we all know that what you send out, you get back, so by remaining grateful even when you really aren’t feeling it, is a valuable asset in Brian’s tool box.

Now I mentioned being able to observe, this to me is such a crucial tool, mastering this one opens up so many doors and all it takes is a little practice. You’re feeling stressed, anxious worked up… Take a mental step back and take a good look at what is happening, there is always a reason for feeling out of place, the key here is to work out the cause and to work towards removing it.

For example, years ago I would get worked up over speed signs, the ones that flash your speed as you go past, I wouldn’t get a little bit irritated, I would be overcome by a full on rage… I’m doing 27mph and it’s telling me I’m doing 33… That’s a speeding ticket on the wrong camera! I knew that this was irrational, yet still I played this game and felt increasingly angry with this particular screen, sometimes I would drive past faster just to be defiant, then I learned this little observer trick and it changed my perspective, not just on the speed sign, but in other more important areas of my life.

I would and still do take a deep breath in and allow my body to fully relax, slump back in a chair and relax. If you’re a smoker, you’ll be familiar with the feeling you get when you take that first drag on a cigarette when you’re stressed, you breath in so deeply, filling your lungs and as you do, you get an almost immediate sense of calm and an “ahhh that’s better” sensation. Now that you are calmer, take a look, what caused the issue?

It’s by recognising patterns and observing them, that you can then work out your triggers, with that in mind you can then work on finding solutions that fit your needs. A big one for me is being late, if I’m running late, I can feel my blood pressure rise and the stress is unreal, so I tend to leave the house 10 minutes earlier than I need to, if I get caught in traffic, it’s OK, I still have the time to make my journey, arrive in good time and still be un-fashionably early. It’s little tweaks like this that have a positive knock on effect for the rest of the day. I wasn’t late, I was early, I was able to grab a glass of water and go through my notes, I was able to talk to that person before everyone else arrived, I was able to go and run errands based on my conversations in my meeting, I had a really positive experience and it was all down to knowing how my Brian functions best.

By establishing a good relationship with your mind and understanding how it works, you put yourself in a great position, it allows you to recognise what’s OK and what isn’t OK, how others impact your mood and what you can do to stay in control to aid your personal growth and shape yourself into the person you want to be.

In my next blog I will write about the effects that others have on Brian, the true narcissistic and abusive characters out there and how you can start to repair you mind, take control and learn to be stronger as a direct result from these once negative experiences…. In the mean time I highly recommend starting the above mentioned techniques. Do let me know how you get on and if you have any alternative suggestions for keeping your Brian in line.

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